European Researchers Immobility Scheme

After my car was vandalized twice over the last four weeks (once all windows were smashed, the next time my "new" car had its outside mirrors smashed), I decided that maybe it's time to leave good old merry England and switch countries.

So, I came across:

The European Researchers' Mobility Portal

I think it should be dubbed the European Researchers Immobility Scheme. I put in my details and expected to get some list like you get at:

jobs.ac.uk

Instead, I got a page that linked me to three Austrian grant schemes. Why? Because Austria has the distinction to come first in the alphabet. Well, I thought, Austria is a bit boring, so I went to straight to "B" (you have to click on each letter of the alphabet, if you want to check for all European wide jobs).

The first link I got is dead.
The second link linked me to the homepage of the Vrije Universiteit in Bruxelles. Duh. I could have done that without 5 clicks.
The third link: dead again.
The fourth link: Again, a link onto the homepage of a University (this time Hasselt.)

Well, OK, so I won't become a famous Belgian, and anyways, I should ditch my Orientalist bias towards the former WP states, so I went to "E", which delivered a grand total of two links:

The first link directed me to the Estonian Science Foundation, after four clicks I arrived at their application page, which states:

"The competition is open to all Estonian researchers as well as foreign researchers working permanently in Estonia." So, no mobility there.

The second link directs me to a page that tells me that I should apply to the British Academy, to which they provide, yes, you guessed right, a dead link.

Thus, I poked around for about 20 minutes, with no tangible results. And why are there only grants, not job regular vacancies? Uh, because they are listed sepeartely, in an even worse search engine, which holds the grand total of 16 non-EU funded vacancies in all areas of research.

Thus: God save the Queen.

Ooops, I almost forgot: Thanks for opening 34 browser windows for me. I am too dumb to know, when I want to open a new window.